Your Presence and Guidance Matters

“For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.” Proverbs 11:14
 
Have you ever felt that your leadership does not matter? Have you ever wondered if mentoring is important? Have you questioned yourself if it is a waste of time guiding others and providing a safe group for them to talk. After all, your mind tells you that people grow by themselves. It is the individual that makes the effort to grow.
 
So wrong! Your presence does matter. Yes, it is up to the individual to make his own effort to grow. But every individual will eventually hit his limit. There is only so much one person can do. But when you add in a mentor, a coach, a leader, a facilitator, and a safe group, something happens. Relational energy transpires. We see it in sports: A talented athlete breaks through his personal barriers through the training of his coach. We see it in schools: an underachieving student excels through the support of his teacher. We see it in business: a company’s profit goes up with a synergised team.
 
Your presence and Godly leadership with your group is crucial for growth. Additionally, the participation of your members as safe advisers to each other further fuels one another’s growth.
 
As the scripture says, “…many advisers make victory sure.” Take it from the greatest Mentor of all. Your presence matters.
 
by TML

 

Of Sticks and Giants

goliathHe said to David, “Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?” And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. (1 Samuel 17:43)

I started to read a book given to me, “David and Goliath” by Malcolm Gladwell. Great book with illuminative insights on how to overcome giants with sticks. Even from the beginning, chapter one is filled with insights –

Goliath is not always the giant he seems to be. He too has his weak spots. Use your strengths, exploit his weaknesses, have the courage to fight differently, forget the standardized methods, and most importantly- have attitude. Even giants can fall. People might laugh at your unorthodox methods. Using sticks to fight giants is unorthodox. Yet sticks overcame the giant, Goliath.

What are your Goliaths, standing tall and seemingly terrifyingly against your life? Remember, they are not always the giants that they seem to be. If used well, sticks can overcome giants.

By tml

Caring Confrontation Heals

Proverbs 27:5 “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.”

silent-treatment-jpg-653x0_q80_crop-smartNot talking about strong feelings doesn’t make them go away; in fact, they become more pronounced in our attempts to live as though they don’t exist. The two people in this kind of relationship try to get along by skirting issues, their emotions, and ultimately their deep love for each other, and they end up with a shell of a relationship. (Quote from Cloud and Townsend).

Let us learn to have caring confrontation and emphatic conversation in your marriage, parenting, and friendships, so that your relationships can heal, grow, and be even more intimate. Relationships can heal.

Time Heals All?

2685812402_c7f3626dfa_zPhilippians 2:12-13. Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

There is a saying, “Time heals all.” Time doesn’t heal all. It heals some but buries most. As it states in the verse above, we must actively work out our issues as in doing physical therapy for an injury. The word salvation in this verse could mean both salvation as in going to heaven or ‘salvation’ as in healing from our life’s hurts and problems. God saves us not only for our future glorious eternal life, but He also saves us in this present life on earth by healing in our minds and hearts.

When physical injuries come, to heal completely we need physical therapy. Leaving the injury alone, we will not fully heal. Instead, it will only result in stiffening the joints and muscles. When emotional injuries happen, to heal we too must have emotional growth therapy and resolve the internal conflicts. If not, our emotional “joints and muscles” will stiffen and it will be even more painful when we need to use those emotional “joints and muscles” in the future. This emotional stiffening could be a reason why some find it harder to face anxieties, worries, fears, anger, sadness, and other unpleasant emotions. By avoiding, burying, or over-controlling these feelings and emotional pains, rather than resolving them, we make them inflexible. Thus, the pain remains.

Some ideas for our emotional workout for healing:

  • Be willing to have the pain. Let go of the struggle to avoid or control your pain.
  • Have a healthy emotional diet of daily bible study and prayer. Let God heal your heart.
  • Find a safe group that you can feel loved and accepted in, where you can be vulnerable about your pain. We need healthy relationships to help us heal.
  • Have a weekly routine to get the emotional help you need.
  • Have a spiritual mentor who can guide you through this process.
  • Don’t rush the process. This is where time comes in. We need to let time along with your active growth work heal your heart.

By TML

To listen – Audio link: https://archive.org/details/TimeHealsAll .

Photo credit: _Max-B via Foter.com / CC BY-SA

The Needs of The People

My thoughts about leadership (this is not my political views or about politics):

Trump won the election. Many people felt shocked and amazed. I too am amazed. The future will only tell what Trump will do in America – good or bad. But I asked myself, “Is there something to be learned from this shocking news about what people want in leadership, which could apply to us.” Why did the US people choose Trump with all his character flaws?

In the many theories that the experts put forward, one stood out the most. It speaks of the heart and emotional needs of the people.

  • “Trump listened to the American people, the working class.”
  • “He remembered the forgotten men and women of America, the working class.”
  • “The Democrats and the left “have given up/abandoned/lost touch with the working class.”

cambodia-angkor-temple-historically-161114Is there something we can learn as we lead our churches? Are we in touch with our “working class” people and their needs in our churches? Do they feel listened to, cared for, and loved? Do we hear their pain? Or are we, like the Democrats, think we are meeting their needs, or assumed they are fine when they are actually hurting inside.

This is something to ponder – the needs of the “working class” as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 12:21-16 – the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honourable we bestow the greater honour.

There is a danger of being too busy and not being able to hear the voice of the “working class” in our churches. If we slow down just for a moment, have a meal with them like Jesus, perhaps just perhaps we will see something different that we have never seen before.

By TML

 

Listen To Your Pain

Psalms 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts!

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Listen To Your Pain

When you feel emotional pain, it is because you care. We do not hurt about things or people that are not important to us. So when you do things to shut down or avoid your pain, you will slowly shut down what your heart desires. Take a moment, and listen to your pain. What is it telling you that you desire? Listen to it carefully or you might miss something important for you.

By TML

Lay Your Burdens Down

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

John already had a bad week last week – his business project was not doing well and he had an unresolved fight with his wife.

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Lay Your Burdens Down

He woke up late, didn’t want to wake up because he was moody. So he was in a rush, anxious that he will be late for work. He was afraid of being scolded by his boss again. So he decided to skip his time with God. He rationalized that he will pray later when he is free.

His wife prepared a nice breakfast to try to make up with John. But John was anxious to rush to leave. His wife felt unappreciated and became angry with him for not eating her breakfast that she specially prepared for him. They had a heated argument in the kitchen. With the conflict still unresolved, John left the house in a frustration.

He went down to his car but his car had a flat tyre. He became more frustrated and kicked the tyre. Now because of his flat tyre he is definitely going to be late to work.

He arrived at work, 30 minutes late. He tried to explain to his boss but his boss only corrected him more. He felt depressed and not understood.

At work, the whole day he couldn’t fully concentrate at his job because he was still angry towards his wife, his car, and his boss. His subordinate came to discuss the project with him. But his subordinate forgot to finish the presentation for the project that is to be presented later that afternoon. Already filled with stress and bitterness from the morning argument with his wife, flat tire, and being scolded by his boss, he lashed out and yelled at his subordinates that she is lazy and stupid. His subordinate went away crying because of his harsh criticism. Later that day, after he got his composure, he felt guilty for making his subordinate cry. He apologized but he felt shameful for what he had done.

On his way home, he stopped by a park to think and rest. Tired as he was, he then tried to pray remembering that he missed his quiet time that morning and he had to fulfil his daily commitment time with God. He had to be a good Christian. But his thoughts kept drifting away to all the burdens and troubles that he had and created. He just couldn’t feel connected with God. After less than a few minutes, he gave up trying to pray, and went away feeling even more guilty and burdened.

Little did he know, all day long, God was waiting and walking by John’s side for John to “Come to Him, give Him all John’s worries and burdens, and God will give John rest. God is gentle and humble in heart, and God wants John and you to find rest for your soul.”

By TML

I Want Something…

33341642I want something that will revive my soul. Something that can refresh my weary and lethargic body. Something that can be trusted to work. There are just too many jazzed up products that claim to be helpful but are not. Products that cost too much money that don’t live up to their claims. Pretensions! Pretensions! The whole lot of them.

I just want to be happy. A product that will fill my heart with joy. A product that will lighten me and make me radiant. A product that I hope can last a long time. A product that is desirable, precious, and perhaps even sweeter than honey. A product that will return me a great reward when I invest into it.

I think I found it.

Check out Psalm 19:7-11 for this mysterious and precious product. A product that is more valuable than gold.

By TML

Grief is a gift from God to heal our hearts

Ecclesiastes 7:3-4
3 Sorrow is better than laughter,
For when a face is sad a heart may be happy.
4 The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning.
While the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure. (NASB)

22994335Tears have the power to mend our afflicted heart. The healing power  comes not when we are in tears by ourselves, but when we are in sorrow in the comfort of others. Notice that the tear duct is located in the eye. Not anywhere else but the eye. Our eyes are meant for seeing. And when we grieve, we need to see someone else’s eyes. The other eyes that grieves with us. The other eyes that understand our sorrow. The other eyes that reflect tenderness in our time of weakness.

And when you grieve, who will you let into that grief, that tender moment of pain and sadness?

By TML